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How The Bible is Like Connect the Dots (Sort of)

by Kenny on October 29, 2010 in Doubters, Non-Believers with 14 Comments
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I used to think it was easy to understand the Bible. There was no mystery, just straightforward text that explained how I could avoid hell and what very specific actions I could not take. Though I was taught early on that the only “true” version was the King James Version, as I got older, I no longer embraced this belief. Though, as a “true” Christian, I of course knew, that the NIV was translated by heathens (and men who sit while pissing), but found other versions to be sufficient. Towards the end of my Christian life, I regularly read the English Standard Version.

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7 Ridiculous Things I Learned Growing Up In The Conservative Baptist Church

by Kenny on October 3, 2010 in Doubters, Non-Believers with 25 Comments
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I wonder if Jews had the same fear of God growing up that I did. I mean, they served the God of Israel… the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. A jealous God that wiped out nations and organized natural disasters. It wouldn’t seem anyone needed instruction to fear God. Who wouldn’t?

However, hell hath no fury like the passion and fervor of a screaming conservative baptist preacher. The holier-than-thou mannerisms and confident warnings of fire and brimstone. The horrifyingly narrow minded axiom of “turn or burn”. It’s enough to make you drop to your knees and beg repentance.

I miraculously “turned” at the age of six, repenting my sins of childhood spasticity, bad school behavior and eating way too much sugar. I had clearly been on the road to hell.

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