If Christianity and Atheism are the two extremes, then I call upon the third Newtonian law. Equal and opposite, right? To take an outside look at the idea of Atheism, it isn’t as simple as not believing in something, but is rather believing against something. Effort. This is not to say that Agnosticism is just a shrug of the shoulders. To say that it is impossible to have knowledge of something carries an implication that there is a search for that knowledge. I don’t believe that anyone is content with just nothing.

Not believing in God isn’t as easy as simply not eating Chinese take-out. Avoiding Chinese food is much easier than avoiding the idea that God may exist. Besides, no one emphatically takes aim against Chinese take-out unless you are an animal rights activist with ridiculous feline theories on the brain. Just simply don’t eat it. But ignoring the fact that so many people believe in God is almost impossible, which is why some people fight back. As much as there are Christians who find it their mission to spread the word of God, there are Atheists who make it their mission to prove to the world that God does not exist; to believe against Christianity rather than just ignore it.

Sometimes I wonder if it goes deeper than a person’s desire to prove others wrong. Maybe it is more about someone trying to prove to themselves that they are right about the idea that God does not exist. If I were to say that I do not believe in ghosts and hear that someone else does believe in ghosts, at most I am probably going to laugh it off and think that the other person is silly for that belief and leave it alone. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t go out and fight against that belief, unless I was trying to prove to myself that ghosts don’t exist despite the eerie feeling I had when I was younger that I was being haunted by my mother’s miscarried child.

I have said before that I believe the idea of a higher being is innate in all human beings (or as some Christians like to say, everyone has a “God-shaped hole” in their heart). Maybe some people fight against it so much because there was that eerie feeling once. Maybe it is still there, so telling oneself that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark makes it go away, right?

Aside from my celebrity and movie revelations, my life really is improving. I spent the better part of my late teens and early twenties (maybe not the better part, but the majority of…) attempting to follow doctrines and dogmas and live a life that was “holy”. Now I know that I’m in this life to do one thing… find joy. I was taught/brain-washed/preached at that the only path to joy was one set of beliefs from an ancient book, or a group of ancient books. Call it a bible if you will.

That is obviously limited. I mean, I think all books are sacred. All books are holy. Even those ebony sex books. Someone’s gonna take something meaningful (or educational) from them. Books can bring new perspectives. They can open up your mind to new possibilities and, more importantly, to the possibility that you may be wrong about certain things. You may be better off rethinking things.

There are some books that really had an impact on the way I think. Some even changed what I believe, or reignited some belief that was dwindling on the walls of doubt.

1. Mere Christianity

I remember a time when not believing Christianity was true induced a fear in me that I could never express with words. I figured, Christianity was my foundation, my reason for living, and if I didn’t have that, then life would be over. It would be empty. I was on the edge of unbelief, ready to jump.

Mere Christianity was my belief suicide negotiator. He talked me down from the ledge and led me to clarity… or, more accurately, led me to a different perspective. I had grown up with a different kind of Christianity and Lewis’s was… refreshing. I was back into a life with Christ. It just involved less yelling and damnation and more conversation and intellect.

2. The Fountainhead

I gradually made my way back up to that ledge of unbelief. This time, instead of being led to safety, I was almost pushed… by Ayn Rand herself. The Fountainhead was more than refreshing, it was exhilarating. I wanted to be Howard Roark. I wanted to take control of my own life. I wanted to live for myself, not some invisible, unknowable deity.

3. Misquoting Jesus

While the jump was damaging, it wasn’t fatal. I still had my belief. I still had that fear that all meaning was wrapped up in an ancient, unreadable book and various doctrines pieced together over the decades. I had heard of Ehrman through a debate he had disputing the historicity of The Da Vinci Code. While the title of the debate was just a ploy to attract people to discuss the accuracy of the Bible, it convinced me to buy his book. It changed my views and revealed so much I never knew, even as someone growing up surrounded by people who taught me the Bible was the most important book I’d ever read. Obviously, I now disagree.

While none of these books caused me to change my beliefs or views, they heavily influenced how I thought and gave me insight into new perspectives. My lack of belief in Christianity and my current beliefs and perspectives are and can only be attributed to my life experience. I will continue to read and learn and experience and I’m really only searching for one thing…

The truth.

Let me know any books that have changed your perspective in the comments…

Photo by: † Jimmy MacDonald †

In the past couple of weeks since LOST has ended I have spent a lot of time thinking about all of it. About the mystery and intrigue that has driven the show, external media about the show, endless conversations about the ambiguous details, and the relationships and bonding that have taken place due to these conversations. The past six years of LOST’s existence have been a highly emotional experience. It was more than just a show. It was a cultural event. It gave us all something to enjoy not just for entertainment value, but for the intellectual expanse that came from within the story and the characters. But it also had a lot to do with faith. It had everything to do with faith, really.

In order to completely state my thoughts here, this article contains LOST spoilers. So for those of you who may not have been part of this phenomenon as it was broadcast, I warn you about reading on. And if you weren’t, I encourage you to pick up the DVDs or add them to your Netflix queue or something. I have faith that you won’t be disappointed.

And I guess that’s just it. I have faith. Or at least I think I do. I’m not really sure at the moment, because as much as I have spent the last six years pondering and debating over LOST, I have also spent much of my time recently pondering and debating over my own faith. As much as I was apt to delve into conversation about what LOST really means, I have also been eagerly trying to find people with whom I can have conversations about faith, and I have been seeking outside resources such as literature and scholarly debates to gain new information and perspective.

The constant behind LOST was always the relationships between the characters and the relationships we as the viewers, as the participants, developed along with them. The most important of these relationships being the one between John Locke and Jack Shephard. The relationship between faith and Science. They were always two opposing forces with separate agendas for what they thought was best for the other survivors of Oceanic flight 815 and whether or not they actually had a purpose for being on the island. Amidst all of these characters and relationships, the writers filled the show with an abundance of literary references and a plethora of philosophical and religious ideals that always left the viewer with something more to think about and question how it all tied together.

There, as well, lie my own questions about faith and reason and how they fit together in my own life. Should I live my life as John Locke, acting based on faith alone and feeling that there is some greater purpose for everything? Should I model myself to be more like Jack Shephard, acting based solely on fact and reason? Are faith and Science able to coincide? I say yes, but there are many people on either side that will argue their point that they cannot coexist. For instance, I believe in evolution. The evidence is all around us. I also believe that The Big Bang Theory is evidence for creationism, not the antithesis.

There are hundreds of thousands of conservative Christians that would have me put to shame for thinking so. In fact, my first year teaching I just mentioned the word evolution (as part of my curriculum) and I had a girl immediately whip out her bible, stand up in the middle of my class and start reading from Genesis. When I politely and tactfully asked her to put it away so that I could continue with my lesson she went home to tell her reverend father that I was teaching lies in class and that I told her that she could not read her bible at school. Sad, really. But this is just the kind of thing I am talking about.

Don’t get me wrong here. I am not angrily bashing fundamental Christianity. At this point, do I still consider myself a Christian? I don’t know. I think so. But that isn’t the point I am trying to make. I guess what I am really getting at is that I believe that everything can exist at the same time. Science and faith can live harmoniously within those who choose to accept them both. Besides, when it comes to religion itself, who says anyone is right or wrong? With so many parallels, why do so few people step back and ask themselves if there is really something to each of them? Most have an all knowing, all powerful being and a messianic figure. Most have some sort of afterlife program. Prayer. Sacrifice. Death. Resurrection. Creation. Faith.

I feel that there are so many parallels because the idea of faith in a higher being is innate in the heart of all human beings. I don’t deny the existence of something greater than all of us. Most religions celebrate this idea in one way or another, so from there it is basically all up to interpretation. Maybe none of them are wrong. Within all of these religions and ideas we have created our own islands on which we are stranded. Maybe we need to stop arguing over the details of the island, because in the end do the details really matter?

I think that ultimately all that matters is who we become. In the final episodes of LOST, Jack finally comes to believe in his purpose and decides to do whatever it takes to fulfill this purpose and protect the island. He became the embodiment of both the “Man of Science” and the “Man of Faith”. He still took on many of the same old Jack characteristics (i.e. volunteering to take Jacob’s place because it was the responsible thing to do and he had to be the hero), but he also took himself to a whole new plateau, where he acted both on the foundation of reason that he had before and now also on an immense amount of faith where he carried out his own purpose, even to the point of self sacrifice, all because he now had faith in this greater purpose. He became the perfect example of how faith and Science can coincide within a single person.

The best part about LOST was that it always left the viewer with something more to talk about. Even now that it is over, I feel like it will still be something that people will continue to talk about for a long time. There are certainly lasting affects that will stick with me for the rest of my life about what it means to have faith. And now I feel that it is not only okay, but healthy to have a balance between Science and faith within each of us, that we are capable of holding on to what we feel is the truth without betraying one side or the other.

The most important part of our lives is the time we spend with the people around us, with the people we care about the most. If we can’t live together, we’re going to die alone.

What really happened, though, what really gets to me, the true source of my bitterness comes from the feeling of being lied to. This feeling that so-called universal truths, risen saviors and a magical sin-forgiving prayer were all blatantly taught to me as absolute. Because, now, the people I thoroughly distrust are those who claim to hold the one absolute truth and condemn all who don’t agree.

Things have changed, however, and while I’m still looking for answers, or, salvation even (whatever that means), I’m not so much looking to be right. For once, since doubt became my best friend, I’m not out to prove anybody wrong… not even myself. And while it seems so very difficult at times, I know what direction I’m moving towards and it’s away from bitterness.

As for faith, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.